Saturday, November 30, 2013

Skunk Ape Revelations II

Photocopy from the SRA archives in Canada
Of course, if you haven't been keeping up with my efforts to gain information regarding Missouri cryptids from the Supernatural Registration Authority, you'll want to read last week's revelations.

The strangest item among the documents I received from the Supernatural Registration Authority was the last page, a blurry black and white photocopy of some kind of identification card.  The photo appears to be a portrait of the Skunk Ape himself!  But how?

I then remembered an incident from 2011.  It was in the autumn of that year that I lost my smart phone at Sequiota Park in Springfield Missouri, not far from the original stomping grounds of the Skunk Ape himself.  When I again found the phone, the camera memory contained photos that appeared to be attempts by the creature to use the camera to take a portrait of himself.  I now realize that the Skunk Ape was not just playing with the camera - he was using it to register himself with the Authority!

As interesting as this all is, it is also somewhat disturbing,  Most cryptozoologists normally assume that these creatures are avoiding civilization, though it has been my theory that some are living in rather close proximity with humans.  I'm now wondering how well integrated with humanity they really are.  Could it be that creatures like the Skunk Ape are actually living among us, perhaps in disguise?  Could we be regularly encountering cryptids on the street and never realizing it?

Friday, November 22, 2013

Skunk Ape Revelations!

As I mentioned last June, the Supernatural Registration Authority was an attempt by the Canadians to identify non-human intelligent entities and give them an international legal identity.  This effort was shut down due to budget cuts in 2012, but a substantial database was said to remain. Since this summer I have petitioned these authorities for information regarding any such entities residing in Missouri.  After months of waiting, I received a stack of photocopied documents.

The "Missouri Skunk Ape" document
The first page, strangely, was a map of magnetite deposits in the state.  Another makes mention of a cryptid living in Pike County, Missouri (the infamous MOMO?).  There is no mention of the Goat Man of Bethesda (much to my disappointment).  It was the last two pages that contained stunning revelations.

In the second to last page, a certain creature living in Missouri is classified as a "Sasquatch Yeti" and is given the name "S***ky (blurred) the Skunk Ape".  No specific residence or location is listed. Certain rights and legal obligations are listed. Amazingly, a birth date in 1812 is given, making the creature, if still alive, 201 years old!

As astounding as this was, it was the last page that held the most remarkable revelation ...

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Lights in the Sky near Hopkinsville

Original news photo of the witnesses 
Those of you who follow this Blog closely will have noticed that I have not posted since October 19th, very out of the ordinary for me.  This is because I have purposely waited exactly one month to continue my story, as I have come to an unnerving realization that I only now feel that I can share.  Before I begin, you may wish to refresh yourself on the facts of the infamous Kelly-Hopkinsville Incident of 1955.

Arriving at a suitable area near Hopkinsville Kentucky, I pitched my tent and prepared myself for three nights of observing the skies.  I had brought my trusty camera and special laser/prism equipment of my own design intended to reveal not only the slight refraction exhibited by transparent objects and entities, but also to indicate the activity of creatures that might be present through the dualistic particle/wave nature of light and the fundamentally probabilistic nature of quantum mechanical phenomena.

Unfortunately, I was unable to observe or record anything out of the ordinary due to three main complicating factors:

  1. On the way to Hopkinsville, I stopped and ate lunch at a delightful mexican restaurant in Charleston Missouri.  Though the huge serving of Pork Carnitas was absolutely delicious, digestive issues made careful observation impossible during the first night.
  2. Hopkinsville is very near Fort Campbell Army Base, and the constant loud roar of brightly lit helicopters made careful observation of the night sky practically impossible.
  3. Mosquitoes.
Changing my plans, I spent the third night driving back to Missouri.

Original eyewitness description
This would seem to be the end of the story for this failed adventure if not for one strange postscript:
During my return trip, about the time I was nearing the confluence of the Mississippi and Ohio Rivers, I began noticing a strange metallic noise coming from the back of my vehicle, something like a metal bucket intermittently vibrating and moving.  I stopped to reposition the load twice, but the sound continued all the way home.  When I arrived in Springfield I went straight to bed without unloading my equipment.  Only when I began unloading the next morning did I come to a startling realization - None of my equipment was stored in a metal container, and none of it was capable of making the noises I heard on the trip home.  I then remembered the metallic "bucket" noises reported by the Sutton family during the original encounter incident.

I have come to the frightening conclusion that a metallic entity or creature much like those described by those eyewitnesses was able to invisibly stow away in my car and is now present in the Springfield area.