Last week I told you how certain cosmically minded individuals in Jasper Arkansas had directed me to explore the mysterious caves and formations of Pedestal Rocks - there, they said, I would discover a profound truth regarding the Cryptids.
After a 40 mile drive and a 3 mile hike through the forest I found the strange cave I was seeking - a perfect lair for any hominid. It was dry, comfortable, and I was even able to find evidence that a small fire had been tended at some time in the past. And so, having come all this way, I sat down and waited.
And then, while sitting and waiting, a question occurred to me - Were some Cryptids just as interested in humans as I was in them? If so, wouldn't they just move into the towns and cities to be closer to us? Wouldn't their dens and lairs hidden in urban areas be even more comfortable than this cave (as cozy and dry as it was)? And then, my final realization - Those wise folks in Jasper had sent me into the forest with a secret purpose. For all I knew, there might be a Cryptid living among the people of the town, well known to the locals but protected from the prying eyes of strangers.
Wiser for my journey, I returned to Springfield, and by the strangest of coincidences found a document in my mailbox pertaining to our city's most famous Cryptid - one containing startling information!