Tuesday, September 15, 2015

The Majestic American Paddlefish

While you are beating the heat by taking a dip at Table Rock Lake or Lake Tanycomo you might not be aware of the fact that you are sharing the water with a creature that has hardly changed in sixty million years - one that can grow to a length of seven feet and weigh up to one hundred and sixty pounds!

In most parts of our nation the American Paddlefish is considered a vulnerable, if not threatened species. That's because the dams that we rely on for electricity keep most paddlefish from reaching their shallow upstream spawning areas.  Thanks to the efforts of biologists working with the Missouri Department of Conservation, paddlefish populations are being well maintained.  In fact, the paddlefish is Missouri's official state fish and one of our most commonly seen monsters.

Remember, the gentle paddlefish in a plankton eater - Feel free to share the lake with them.
See some haunting video of the paddlefish at:
http://youtu.be/MLi3NVIEgO0

Friday, July 10, 2015

The White River Monster

If one visits near the banks of the White River between Jacksonport and Newport Arkansas one may hear locals refer to the area as the "White River Monster Refuge".  Don't mistakenly think that the locals are pulling your leg - the area stretching through Jackson and Independence counties was designated as such by the State Legislature in 1973 in a bill sponsored by State Senator Robert Harvey.  Why go through all the trouble to pass laws making it illegal to harm a monster?

The reason is that some have come to the area to do just that, and the citizens around Jacksonport and Newport care very much for their beloved "Whitey", even though it's been nearly 40 years since the last rash of sightings.  Come to think of it, the creature seems to make its appearances every 30 or 40 years, so now may be the best time to make a trip to northeast Arkansas.

For more information on the White River Monster, see:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_River_Monster

Saturday, July 4, 2015

The Beasts of Summer

The White River System and its watershed,
courtesy Wikimedia Commons
It's July - the time of year when so many of the human denizens of Southwest Missouri make their way to the lakes that run back and forth across the Missouri/Arkansas border.  Many of those who enjoy time on the water don't even realize that these lakes are all part of the same system - the 722 mile White River.  For the next few months we will be taking a closer look at the system, beginning downstream at the State designated "White River Monster Refuge" near Newport Arkansas, then traveling upstream to feature the creatures of Bull Shoals, Taneycomo, and Table Rock Lakes, and finally ending with the source of the river at Beaver Lake, the location of documented sightings of prehistoric creatures.

NEXT WEEK:  The July 1st 1915 discovery of the White River Monster

Friday, June 26, 2015

I'm Back!

I want to give a shout out to those of you who have been inquiring about my long  absence from the Urban Cryptids blog.  I have been busy working on my thesis paper for entry into the London Institute of 'Pataphysics entitled, " A Pataphysical Investigation into the Safe Unloading of the Common Banana".  I hope to be ready to submit by the end of the year.  In the meantime, I will be back next weekend to file more reports on strange occurrences in Southwest Missouri, including my pursuit of the enigmatic "Mr. Theophrastus".

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Florida and Urban Skunk Apes: a comparison

I would like to take time off from our discussion on novel methods of psychic communication to address brand new information from the Huffington Post regarding the skunk ape of Florida.
According to the recent article, Florida electrician John Rodriguez was able to take a remarkable photo of the skunk ape near Tampa on December 26th.  Here, I compare an enlarged detail of his photo (thank you, Mr. Rodriguez!) with an enlarged detail from our best image of the Urban Skunk Ape, the infamous "selfie" of 2011.  Even though the exposed skin color of the two creatures differ (just as human skin colors differ) the other features are strikingly similar:  The intelligent eyes, the overly prominent nostrils, the size and position of the mouth, and, most interestingly, the definite skunk-like stripe on the head.  I believe that this is enough evidence to place both creatures in the same genus and species- Ameranthropoides putoris

Saturday, December 20, 2014

A New Method of Psychic Communication

As many of you will remember, we have documented the psychic abilities of the famous white squirrels of Marionville Missouri.  This led to my own experiments involving the testing of other albino and leucistic animals using commonly available Zener cards.  Mice proved to be entirely disinterested in the process, so I eventually settled on using my leucistic ferret Ferdinand as the primary test subject. 
The process was a simple one:  I would choose, at random, a card from the Zener deck and, without looking at it, show the card to the ferret.  Once the ferret had three seconds to look at the card I would then attempt to receive any psychic emanations from the ferret that would indicate which card symbol the ferret had seen.

Unfortunately, test duration was limited by Ferdinand's apparent boredom, especially when treats were brought into the process. What results I was able to gather showed little promise.

Since then I have worked on the design of a new method of extra-sensory communication that I believe will be much more successful.  I will describe this new machine, the Electropsychical Ouchigraph, in my next post.